What is the soundtrack to our age? Is it drones buzzing overhead? Relentless cellphone yakking? Rattling pill bottles or jackhammering condo construction? No. It’s the sound of splitting seams. And not just because the population is getting fatter—it undeniably is, but that’s not why we are gathered here today. Call it body-conscious bespoke. Call it castration couture. We are here to talk about the current epidemic of hyperfitted, nut-mangling menswear.